2024: Chowa, finding balans

“Tomorrow” “Yesterday” “Today"

Time passes fast! A year ago I thought to could have deleted this website and to move on in my new (not so new anymore) website: helenakaorimaeda.com

But, here I am, still open for both sites, because I live in a organized chaos… where I spring from one to another project without finishing them all…

This year I decided to re-take my drawings story telling book to the next level, again, searching for a possibility to publish it. Brain storm to do it another way than conventional…

Since end of the last year “Orphans of the Studio” Wunderkammer at NDSM Fuse containers exposition with Frank Hietbrink, my partner and friend, with some artwork from some time ago. Preparations for the Rosa Luxemburg collective exhibition that begins 5 March at IISG and the next exposition for 5 April at NDSM Fuse. All interesting themes. I have been making some mini playful wearable sculptures. And since 2021 I have been making many 3D butterflies in paper.

It was a busy year 2023, still it is.

Sad… our much beloved rabbit unexpected passed away… he seemed so healthy jumping.. looking at us, playful, funny, he was nearly 10, I believed he would easily get 15, I miss him.

Daughter is healthy, growing a beautiful wise young woman!

Year of transitions, in the world, in myself, searching for peace, hope, optimism, kindness where sometimes reactions are against, misunderstandings that I wish were not there...

Expectations, from myself, from others, are now in a loose end, I am resolved to let it go… and to live life as it comes, time, projects, family issues, and just be who I am, who I am always been, but not running anymore to catch up with all demands around. Without depending on approvations to accept myself. For the first time in my life: I am not only the mother, the mother of my mother, the mother of my brothers and sister… I realized that I exist without these rolls.

Did I make all the best decisions in life? I don’t know. But I am grateful! I am able now to accept that I can only take one step at time, I refuse to be constant in the fast modus. Free from all censorship, not that I pretend to do crazy now, but only to be free of this heavy chain around my brain. Take it easy, dream my dreams, to be honest with myself and not always fell obliged to do what are expected from me as a carer. If I don’t care for myself, who does? I am tired to feel sorry that I cannot fullfill all the expectations…. from now on, my mind is in the “Chowa”, in Japanese it means: finding balance, with all and within myself.